Meat Streets
Hello, butcher. (sound effects) You guys got any hind quarter? Uhh, no, buuut what else you looking for? I don't have that, I have some steak, I got some, uh, rib eye...(sound effects start) I can't, I can't hear you too good. Uh, yeah, you got any shank? No, what are you makin'? Oh, I'm just trying to get cooking tonight. Come to the store and see what I have, Ok? You got any tongue up 'ere? Parmesan cheese? Tongue! (sound effects) Tongue, no, no, that's a special order. You guys got any lip? Lip? No, no, this is a butcher shop. I'm looking to get some tongue goin' wild tonight. No, I don't have no tongue. Some lip. I don't have that stuff. Which one you got. (sound effects) I don't have that, that's a special (sound effects interrupt) I can't, I can't hear you too good, you're going in and out on the phone. Let's get some hip. I don't have hip, what your talkin', I have steak, I got, ah, some chicken, (sound effects interrupt).. What about nose? I don't have nose. You guys got any mouth up 'ere? Listen, uh,uh,uh,er,uh, you're calling for stuff that I don't have. Just nose or mouth. No, I, I don't have that. Who is this? I mean, uh, er, uh, I'm trying to be nice to you... I'm from just around San Anton. My name's Smiley. You guys got any mouth up 'ere? No, I don't have mouth. I have, I have, I have, I can give ya T-Bone, I got Rib Eye, fifteen ninety-nine a pound. I'm trying to get some mouth going wild. Come on, come on, come on, come to the store please? Thank you. (hang up sound) - **Incomplete transcription. from ~1:35 - ~4:10 has not been transcribed*** - (ring) Ahhhh. Yeahhhh. (Sound effects) Hello? Can I help you? Yeah, I need to get some lip. Lip sausage. Come on down, we got it. I've been up 'ere. I didn't see any. Yeah, we got it in the case. Come on down. Why don't I come up 'ere and shove you around, little bit? Then you'll get a meat hook stuck up your fucking ass. (hang up sound) - **Incomplete transcription. from ~4:33- ~ 5:50 has not been transcribed*** (Ring) L.A. Meat. Hi. I want to get some nostril and some snout lined up for tonight. Ten, fifteen pounds? We don't sell any of that brother. Ohhhhhhhh. I need lips and snout and nose. Pig lips? Yeah. Yeah, we don't, we don't sell that, my man. Just turkey necks, turkey wings, chicken leg quarters. We don't sell that. Gimme some legs and some tail. Alright? Fifteen, twenty pounds will be good. (sound effects) For tonight. I got a cook out tonight. Okay, uhhh, well come check us out, man. Oh, I've been there man, I've been there...before. Okay... How much you charge for half a calf? Half a calf? (presumably to coworkers) Half a calf? Half a calf? (New employee takes phone, or possibly new call) Hello? Hello. Yeah, what's up? Oh, this is Jacoby. Uh-huh. Yeah, I needed to get some lips, some snout and nostril, some tails. Just fifteen pounds, maybe twenty pounds for tonight. Got a cook-out. Nah, I don't think I have that much right now, I only get that at the beginning of the month. Maybe five pounds? Ten pounds? Uh, I don't have none of that right now. How about mucus? Bacteria? Anything that you could put in a cup. No brother, none of that. What do you mean 'no'? None of that stuff man. (ring sound) **Incomplete transcription. ~7:10-11:55 has not yet been transcribed*** (Ring) Stephen speaking. (sound effects) Ohhhhhh yeeeeeahhhhh. (SFX end) Hi, could I get a few ounces of tendon, for tonight? I don't know that I actually have any in stock at the moment. I'll be right back. I do need a few ounces of urine, too. And blood. Uhh, tendon we could do, but the rest unfortunately we couldn't do. It's just not something that we carry. Full disclosure, I, I'd probably accept some of your own urine. Oh, some of my own? No, unfortunately I don't give away my own urine. That's my own policy. It'd be like a conflict of interest really, working in a place that, you know, sells that kind of stuff. Yeah, I just wouldn't feel right giving that away. I'd insist on paying you something for your time, and for your, and of course for your urine. Yeah, no, no, I definitely understand that. Yeah, no but unfortunately It's just not something that I'd be willing to do. I'd have to check with my wife, too, and yeah, you know, that doesn't always go so well. Maybe after hours, I could meet you outside in the back, and just pick it up? Yeah, but that feels kind of sketchy, giving my urine away to somebody after hours. It just doesn't seem right. I'm a good Christian, I assure you. Yeah, no, no, I fully understand dude. If you're a good Christian and all. But I'm an atheist, so that really doesn't matter much to me. The flavor profile of the urination... Ohhh. ...is just something I prefer. But, you know, you don't know what my diet's like, so it might not be something you would enjoy. I know, but you're in the business, so I,I assume it would be preferable to my own. Yeah, but I'm vegetarian, though. So, let me just get some blood, and urine, like I say. Any source you can get it from, and the tendon, I can be there for tonight? Sound good? Yeah, tell you what, we'll meet you after, and we'll see what we can figure out for ya. Ok, yeah (crazy echo effects) (SFX continue) Alright. (SFX end) Take care. You too. (Hangup sound) (ring) Good morning, Millington's. (synth sounds) Good morning. Morning. I'd like to pick up some tendon for this evening, ideally. Some --- sorry? Yeah, hi. Hi. Yes, how ya doin'? Good. Superb. Excellent. (echo effect) What would you like? (effect end) How you doin' today? I'm good. Wonderful. So, I would like to get some tendon for tonight, please. Tendons? Yes. No, w-w-w-w-w-we don't carry tendons. Well, I got a cookout scheduled. Ummm, can I please pick up a few ounces of urine and blood for tonight? Nnno. Something else. We don't carry it. Not much, you know. A gallon. It could be mixed. You understand? Yeah, but we don't carry anything like that. How you doin' today? I'm doing good, are you? Excellent, superb. Yeah. You know, full disclosure, you could even supply your own urine and blood. How much would that cost me? (Hang up sound) (ring) Good morning, Millington's. Yeah guy, listen. I just need some urination for this evening, that's it. A-are you taking the piss?! No, sir. I can give you three, four dollars. I don't care what you're doing! Y-y-you're taking the piss. (lower voice modulation) That's a crude way of putting it, sir. Just, don't -- we can't do it, we're not doing it, and don't call me again. (SFX end) Well, which part are you refusing? I'm refusing everything because I have never had a phone call like this in my life. Listen, maybe after hours if we go off-premises, you just gimme what I neeeeeed. Just, you know... forget it! Go somewhere else and... play your games but don't play any more with me because I'm gettin' pissed off right now. I'm... 'We can work something out. I'm sure of it. I'm confident that we can work it out. And --' Fuck that! I'm out of 'ere. (Hang up sound)